


Atlas

by islandgirl



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Family Secrets, Gen, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:47:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29267475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/islandgirl/pseuds/islandgirl
Summary: Maddie’s been keeping this secret, standing on this unexploded landmine, for years, knowing that one wrong move could set it off. And now she’s pulled Chimney on with her and he feels the responsibility of it like a yoke around his neck. It’s terrifying knowing that one slip could explode their whole world.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 72





	Atlas

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to [BunnyCreekStyleDipTydeGregstophe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BunnyCreekStyleDipTydeGregstophe/pseuds/BunnyCreekStyleDipTydeGregstophe) for reading this over me. Big hearts to you, my friend!

“Why are you telling me this?”

Chimney scrubs his hands over his face in frustration. He’s not sure how they ended up here, standing on opposite sides of the kitchen with so much more than physical distance between them. Was it really only a few moments ago they were huddled up on the couch watching Maddie’s ultrasound?

“I told you, I don’t want to hide this from you. No more secrets.”

Chim leans back against the counter, arms crossing over his chest. “No, I mean why are you telling _me_. You need to tell this to Buck.”

“No,” Maddie shakes her head vehemently. “He can’t know, Chimney.”

He loves Maddie. He absolutely does; she’s the mother of his child and the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with. But she’s just dredged up ghosts from her past and dropped them on his lap with no warning. He needs to take a minute to adjust.

Chim sighs heavily, mind tracing and retracing the information she just dropped on him and, quite frankly, it’s a lot. What she just told him, about her past, about Buck’s past … it’s like someone turned the kaleidoscope and all the pieces have shifted. Everything still looks the same, just slightly different, parts of the pattern clearer than they were before.

“He doesn’t know any of it?”

“I never- _we_ never told him.”

“God Maddie this …” Chimney trails off, at a loss for words.

Maddie’s been keeping this secret, standing on this unexploded landmine, for years, knowing that one wrong move could set it off. And now she’s pulled Chimney on with her and he feels the responsibility of it like a yoke around his neck. It’s terrifying knowing that one slip could explode their whole world.

“You need to tell him,” he decides, voice steady and sure. “He deserves to know. He needs to know, Maddie. You can’t keep this from him.”

“I can’t,” Maddie stresses, tears threatening to tip over any second. “I can’t tell him. He’s been through so much, too much. This could _break_ him. I need to-”

Maddie presses a hand against her mouth turning away from Chim as the first tears start to fall.

“Protect him?” Chim asks. He crosses the distance he put between them, settling a gentle hand on her arm and nudging her enough to turn her around again. No more hiding. That’s what started all of this, he isn’t going to let her start again.

“Maddie, I know he’s been through a lot, but that kid is a lot stronger than any of us really know.”

They aren’t just placating words; he truly means them. He’s known Buck since he all but skipped in to the station on his first day at the 118, a still wet behind the ears probie fresh from the academy. Chim had seen him grow from that dumbass kid with the cocky swagger to the loving, caring (still sometimes a dumbass) man he is today. And yes, while Buck was known to make completely rash, questionable, and yes even reckless, decisions when he was emotional, Chim also knows he is trying to tamp down on that urge. Just the fact that he is seeing a therapist on his own shows how strong that kid is.

Maddie’s lip quivers as she stares at him, eyes full of fear. He gets it, he really does. Maddie has been a bedrock of trust for Buck his whole life. He’s not sure what will happen when she exposes these skeletons that the Buckleys have kept hidden away. Is their relationship strong enough to survive that storm? Or will Buck count Maddie in the column of people who have let him down, just like their parents.

It scares Chimney to think of what could happen, what _will_ happen, when it all comes to light. He’d come to think of Buck like his little brother even before Maddie entered the picture and now that feeling of family has only multiplied. Protecting Buck is one thing, but hiding this, crucial information about his life and who he is, is not protecting anyone anymore except for Maddie and her parents.

Chimney pulls Maddie against him, wrapping his arms tight around her as she settles her head on his shoulder. He can feel her shaky breaths and the tears wetting his t-shirt as she tries to regain control. He sweeps a hand up and down her back and presses a kiss to the top of her head before he pulls back and meets her eyes.

“You aren’t protecting him by keeping this from him, Maddie, and I think you know that. There’s a reason, after all this time, you’re bringing it up now.”

Maddie ducks her head, hands run soothingly over her belly.

Chim sighs. “He needs to know, Maddie. He deserves to know. And it needs to come from you. You need to tell him.”

She’s quiet for a moment and Chim isn’t sure what thoughts are running through her mind or where any of this leaves them. Slowly, Maddie her head up, eyes glittering with tears. There’s a determined look on her face when she nods.

“Okay.”

* * *

It feels like there is a weight constantly pressing against his shoulders now, has been since Maddie took his world and tilted it on its axis. Chimney can’t look at Buck without feeling guilt curl up in his gut; guilt that he knows personal, private information about the kid that even he doesn’t know; guilt that Buck is walking around with a cheery smile on his face and cracking jokes when Chimney knows that his world is about to crack open wide. He feels like Atlas, the weight of the Buckley secret pressing against his back, trying to break him down.

If Buck notices anything amiss, he keeps it to himself, acting his normal, jovial self. That doesn’t keep Hen from tossing him not so subtle looks, eyes squinting just the slightest as she tries to diagnosis him like the corpse in her Gross Anatomy class. Eddie is a lot more subtle in the way his eyes flick over and assess every once an a while, frown tucking down the corners of his lips when Buck enters and Chimney leaves.

Bobby though, is the only one to do anything about it. After dinner, when Eddie and Buck are holed up in the kitchen doing the dishes and Hen is hunched over a textbook, Bobby gives Chim’s arm a nudge and jerks his head towards his Captain’s Quarters.

“How’s everything going, Chim?” Bobby asks after he quietly shuts the door. He leans casually on the edge of the desk, posture open and inviting as he regards the man before him.

“Good,” Chimney answers automatically. When Bobby’s eyebrow just quirks up in disbelief, Chim tries to think of something, anything beside the looming explosion about to happen. “Got to see Maddie’s ultrasound the other day. Learned the sex of the baby.” The flash of happiness that warms his chest is a welcome relief from the all-consuming pressure.

“That’s great,” Bobby pushes off the desk and takes the open chair next to Chimney.

He’s talking to his friend, Bobby, Chim realizes in that moment, not his Captain. He can speak a little more freely and the thought eases some of the tension out of his shoulders.

“Any hints you wanna drop? I could really use to win the bet over Athena this time.”

Chim chuckles and shakes his head. “No way. You have to wait just like everyone else.”

“Fair enough. Had to try,” Bobby pauses. “So what else is going on? You haven’t been your usual self today.”

Bobby is a tried and true friend to Chimney, steadfast. They’ve been through a lot together, a lot of up and a hell of a lot of downs. Bobby is one of the few people in his life that Chimney knows is safe to tell anything to. The urge to spill the secret and share the weight with him is almost overwhelming. Almost. But it’s not his secret to share so he swallows the words and looks away form Bobby’s penetrating gaze.

Out in the loft, Buck laughs, the sound a little muted and muffled through the door. It’s enough to catch his attention though. Chim turns his head to see Buck throw his head back, whole body laughing with him, at whatever caught his amusement, and it hits Chim right in the stomach.

“What would you do if you found out some information about someone’s past that they didn’t know?”

The words are out before he can stop them. In the quiet that follows, Chim drags his gaze back to see Bobby’s calculating expression. His eyes travel from Chimney, out to Buck, and back, a wrinkle of understanding and concern deepening across his brow. Yeah, it doesn’t take a genius to start putting the pieces together. There are very few people in Chimney’s life that he is close enough to to have this be an issue and the Buckley siblings are at the very top of that list.

Bobby’s gaze wanders out to Buck and Chim can almost hear the gears turning in his friend’s head, trying to process, to predict, to prepare. What possible information could Chimney possess that could make him so tense and worried? Buck wasn’t exactly an open book about his history, but his childhood was practically kept in a vault. Was it something domestic like his parents weren’t his parents, that he isn’t blood related to them or Maddie at all or only partially? Or was it something more dark and sinister? Did he have a traumatic childhood he doesn’t remember? Did he lose someone close to him at a very young age? What would the fallout from that information be? Chimney could practically see the thoughts flit across Bobby’s face in rapid succession before he shut them down, face smoothing out to something close to neutral.

“I guess it depends what kind of information it is,” Bobby finally finds his voice, eyes dragging away from Buck to look at Chimney once again. “Is it going to put someone in danger or harm them?”

 _Not physically_ , Chim thinks as he shakes his head. “No. It’s personal stuff about,” he pauses, words caught in his throat as Maddie’s teary, fear-filled eyes flash through his mind.

Bobby shakes his head to cut him off. “I don’t need to know.”

Maybe he doesn’t need to know, but Chimney has known Bobby long enough, he can see the concern lingering in his eyes. He wants to know, if only so he can help minimize the damage. They’ve made a family here, the crew of the 118, and Bobby has done, and will do, all he can to protect it. Chim’s witnessed it first hand. So he knows Bobby will do what he has to to protect Buck, to shield the rest of the crew from the inevitable ripple effect exposing this secret will cause.

Bobby casts one more look out at Buck, where he’s sitting next to Hen playing video games, and losing badly. He looks so at happy and at peace. Sighing, Bobby turns back to Chimney.

“I can’t tell you what to do Chim. Just … think about what you’d want. If the situation were reversed and someone you knew, someone you trusted, had personal information about you … would you want to know?”

Chimney’s shoulders bow as he drops his head. Would he want to know? Would he want to find out that the bedrock of his life was a lie, have that foundation ripped from under him? Or would he rather stay in the dark? You can’t regret knowing what you don’t know.

Bobby gives his shoulder a squeeze. “Let me know if you need anything.”

Chim just nods sullenly as he slips out of the office.

* * *

It doesn’t take long after his talk with Bobby for Buck to track him down. It’s not like he was hiding, exactly, he just slipped away while no one was looking. Except, it appears, the kid was looking. Buck drops down next to him on the bumper of the ladder truck and hands over a bottle of water wordlessly. Silence settles between them as the sun sinks lower and lower in the sky, painting it a brilliant watercolor of pinks and oranges.

“Did I overstep?” Buck asks quietly a few minutes later.

Chimney glances over and sees the carefully neutral look on Buck’s face and the way his fingers rub restlessly against the label of his water bottle.

“What?”

“The other day, with the baby proofing. Did I go all Fire Marshall Buckley and overstep?”

“What, no.” Chim stammers quickly. Buck looks at him disbelieving, so he tries again. “No, Buck. Maddie and I appreciated the help, really.”

Buck nods his head and hums in response, silence enveloping them once again. This time, though, Chim can feel it crackling with tension. Buck’s picked up on his mood and his avoidance and is reading it wrong.

Chim has no idea how to correct this without blowing everything up.

“Is everything okay with Maddie and the baby?” Buck asks, like he’s got a mental list of what could be wrong and is ticking them off one by one. “I just saw her the other day and everything was fine, but I know she had her ultrasound and-”

“They’re both fine, Buck,” Chim assures him quickly, before he can get too caught up in the train of thought. “We found out the sex.”

“And how was it seeing my _niece_ for the first time?” Buck asks with a cheeky grin.

“Nice try, Buck. I’m not telling you.”

Chim knocks his shoulder into Buck’s which earns him a laugh. There’s a glint in Buck’s eyes like he wants to ask, wants to _beg_ Chim to tell him, but Chim just laughs and shakes his head.

“No way, Buckley. Your sister would end me if I spilled the secre-”

The words cut off in his throat as guilt once again rears its ugly head. Buck is sitting here next to him, trying to cheer him up, face filled with the love and pride of a new uncle … and Chimney is keeping things from him. Bile burns like acid in his throat.

“You okay, Chim?”

Buck reaches out, hand gripping Chimney’s upper arm and giving it a squeeze. Chimney goes to nod, but instead shakes his head no. No, he’s not okay.

The words are bouncing around his head like ping pong balls, just begging to be set free.

“What’s going on?”

Buck looks so worried and Chimney hates this. He doesn’t want to wreck Buck’s world and, by extension, his own. He doesn’t want to lie to the kid either. Buck deserves to know the truth and deserves to hear it from the right people. He knows Maddie agreed to do this, but it’s been days and she hasn’t broached the subject again and he’s worried she will back out.

It’s not his place to tell Buck, but it’s hard when the kid is looking at him with such concern.

“We’re family, Chim. You can tell me anything. You know that, right?”

The words are clawing up the back of Chimney’s throat as he stares at Buck.

He does know that. He knows how kind and forgiving and strong Buck is and he just hopes that, after the explosion, when all the debris has settled, they can pick up the pieces and figure out how to make it all work. Chimney doesn’t want to lose Maddie, she’s the love of his life, but he doesn’t want to lose Buck either, his friend and kid brother. They are a family and they are worth fighting for.

Buck’s hand squeezes tighter, brow wrinkling the longer he stares at Chim.

The words are on the very tip of his tongue. He takes a deep breath and opens his mouth.

The alarm bells clang overhead.

Chim snaps his mouth closed, the words about to tumble free trapped forever behind his teeth. Relief pulses through his chest. Buck gives his arm a squeeze as a smirk quirks up his lips.

“Saved by the bell, Chim,” he laughs, jumping up from the bumper. “We’ll talk later, okay?”

“Yeah, Buck. We can talk later.”

**Author's Note:**

> I need more Chim and Buck brotherly moments in my life.
> 
> Come find me on [tumblr](https://cptmeatball.tumblr.com/ask)


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